In Scotland New Year’s Eve is called Hogmanay, and it is a time of many interesting rituals designed to recall and release the current year while welcoming the New Year. And it was one of the things I loved about Scotland that I carried back with me when I returned to the “colonies” in 2007. Although many of the Hogmanay customs do not translate well to life Stateside, there is one tradition I do not miss: Watching the BBC Scotland Hogmanay Live show followed by BBC Alba’s traditional Scottish Ceilidh. I’m a big fan of traditional Scottish music and Cunningham and Bain are always on BBC Scotland playing that Shetland fiddle music I love. Then just before midnight the camera takes you to Edinburgh Castle where the Lone Piper plays a lament - you can’t help but call to mind the losses and pain of the year about to pass. Then at midnight Mons Meg, the cannon at the castle, is fired to mark the start of the New Year - followed by spectacular fireworks. It is customary to raise a glass to the New Year (preferably containing a wee dram of whisky). The BBC program ends with the singing of Auld Lang Syne (guaranteed to bring a few more tears) and then over to BBC Alba for a very traditional Scottish Ceilidh - music and dancing that I love. And the beauty of all of this is with the difference in time zones, those of us who watch this from the States can go to bed early with the passing to the New Year properly marked!
For the past ten years I’ve observed this ritual from the Mountain Time Zone - a full seven hours earlier than the celebration in Scotland. But this year much has changed, and I’m now two time zones closer to Edinburgh Castle.
Yesterday I said goodbye to my beloved congregation of ten years in Boise, Idaho and got on a plane bound for my new life in Cuyahoga Falls, Ohio. This new congregation opened their hearts to me and invited me to journey with them as they listen for God’s calling and direction for their ministry. Their invitation came well into my realization that the work that I had been called to do in Boise had reached its conclusion, and it was time for me to step aside so that a new pastor could come for the next part of their journey. But emotions do not always sync with the leading of that quiet inner voice. Even with the conviction that what I was doing was the wise course for all, my heart was still broken in the parting. To feel deep peace and intense heartache simultaneously is challenging, to say the least. And a bit overwhelming.
I had planned to drive from Boise to Cuyahoga Falls - making the transition more concrete by actually traveling the ground. I also wanted to say a prolonged goodbye to my beloved Rockies. But wise friends at the Boise church prevailed upon me to revisit that plan (a Honda Fit is not a great match for high mountain winter driving) and so I instead flew from Boise to Denver and from Denver to Pittsburgh (where my son and his family live).
I arrived late last night and got checked into my hotel - exhausted from the leave taking service in the morning and the travel that followed. This morning my son and grandson were here to play with Gramma - it was delightful to hear how Benjamin’s vocabulary has blossomed and to see that we still have a bond that has been nurtured over many months and miles. When it was time to go over to their house and I walked outside into the cold rain the realization hit me - I was no longer in the West. My life has changed forever and the reality of this move hit me like that cold rain “dibble dibble dopping” - as Benjamin says.
This is a big transition. And a big adjustment. The high desert, 300+ days of sunshine and all that is familiar are now memories. I will soon enter a new home state, community and church and forge new relationships. New things will need to become “home” for this to be successful for me and for my new congregation.
Before I left Boise I visited with women who have made (not always by their choice) significant changes and adjustments in recent years. I have watched them move through changes and loses that were deeply painful. Their advice to me is well worth heeding:
1. Have faith that all will be well. Be patient because it will take time for the new to feel familiar.
2. Keep moving forward - you cannot live in the past. You can remember it, cherish it, but you cannot cling to it. If you cling to the past, you drown.
3. Engage - make yourself get out and make the community home, especially when you don’t want to and would rather hide because the newness of everything feels overwhelming.
4. Remember all your self-care strategies and find ways to adapt them to your new community.
5. Trust that the God who led you this way will not abandon you - but will see you through the changes into this new phase of life that will be life-giving and sustaining.
Each place that I have lived and each congregation that I have loved is part of who I am. Just as I carry my life and experiences of Scotland with me on this “gie dreich” night, my life and experiences in Boise and everyplace else I’ve loved and served now come with me to Cuyahoga Falls. It seems like each heartbreak of parting causes the heart to enlarge - making more room for love.
So with the New Year begun (in Scotland), I will spend one more day here playing with Benjamin and watching my son be an amazing Dadda, and then head off to begin a new life in Cuyahoga Falls. All the people I have met there have been kind and welcoming - and have a great sense of humor. I have a new little house that I fell in love with at first sight, and a congregation anxious for me to join them. The future looks very bright indeed.
Happy New Year! The journey continues!
With love and hope,
Kim
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