It is the quiet before the storm. Right now all is peaceful and calm. But within a few hours a named bomb cyclone winter storm will barrel through Ohio. The weather magi say there may be a blizzard in the midst of a 40 degree temperature plummet, sub zero temperatures and high winds. We've been told to prepare for power outages. And to stay off the roads. Since this unbidden guest arrives early on the 23rd of December, the fate of the Traditional Christmas Eve Candlelight Service is unclear - for a third year in a row. Of course, if we need to we will pivot and adapt with plan B or plan C. But we are all hoping we can leave pivot and adapt home for the night and just have the @#$% Traditional Christmas Eve Candlelight Service.
Advent is my very favorite time of the year. I look forward to it with a longing that is difficult to describe. I bring traditions and rhythms to it that make my heart sing. But this year they were all turned upside down. Again.
I did not expect to get RSV on the Monday of the First Week of Advent. With my lungs being my weakest link, this was a problem. It morphed into bronchitis, and I was forced to go down the road of multiple courses of antibiotics and the dreaded steroids in order to breathe. I worked 1/2 days from home for two weeks because I didn't have the stamina or breath to do much else (including dishes, laundry, decorate the Christmas tree, send out the cards etc etc etc).
And yet - and yet - in the midst of those challenges, I had the most amazing Advent. Perhaps it was because of what I couldn't do that there was more space for God. Suddenly my life got much simpler - there was no energy for running around (or my approximation of running around). I discovered that when I'm sitting on the edge of my bed in the middle of the night coughing my lungs inside-out, God is a good companion. Talking makes the coughing worse, so we had many silent conversations. I got a whole lot better at being quiet and listening to the silence, and (surprise!) the quieter I was, the more I heard God. Not in the deep, resonant voice of a Hollywood actor, but in the quiet, gentle promptings deep within my soul. It was warm, and comforting and pretty amazing. Wow.
It was not the Advent I wanted. Nor was it the Advent I expected. Instead, it was so much more (even with the bronchitis). In fact, it was the most wonderful Advent ever. Even with...
I do not know what kind of storm this will be. I don't like losing power for long periods of time, especially with subzero temperatures. But if we do lose power, I will think about my friends in Ukraine who offer praise when they get power for three hours a day every few days! I will pray for them and for those who are homeless and whose very lives are at risk in weather like this. I do not have that fear - but I can try to put myself in their position and have empathy (causing my heart to grow just a little bit bigger). And if they are right and in the middle of the night my house starts shaking, I know that God will keep me company, just as God has so many night during Advent.
I am loved. I am safe. I am not alone. And Christ's light shines in the darkness. I am enveloped in God's love - I take a deep breath and sigh. I smile. Blessed Advent.
And if Christmas Eve requires plan B, C or even D, I trust that it, too, can be more than expected - in a good way.
With love and prayers,
Kim
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