Lead With Love
I don't remember turning the TV off after the Presidential Debate last night. I remember sitting at my desk and shaking like a leaf in a full blown stress hormone storm. Somewhere during that ninety minutes of shouting, lies, bullying and name calling an inner switch got flipped and I got caught in an amygdala hijack. The shaking is my cue - something has sent me back to those very unsafe places in my childhood. Perhaps it was because none of the grownups were able to restore safety and sanity to the debate. My inner child knows that unsafe scenario all too well. Watching the debate last night ended up not being an act of self care and compassion. Nor did it help me to be a more informed citizen. And I don't turn to my political leaders for entertainment. What a wasted opportunity for all!
Pray Often
The curse of my early childhood involves, sometimes, reliving deeply painful experiences when something trips the wire. I have found, much to my disappointment, that some soul wounds never go away - I get better at managing them, but the healing only goes so far, leaving the wound sensitive to touch - especially when that touch comes through a bullhorn or bat. I don't know if this will be true forever, but it is my experience thus far. I remember that in the story of the resurrection, Jesus still has the wounds of his crucifixion - the holes are still there. As I child I thought that was an odd detail in the story - surely Jesus should have a completely healed new body for Easter! But perhaps even old wounds can serve a purpose.
Give Thanks
I've noticed that this wounded part of my life helped to focus my commitment to everyone having access to a safe, just, meaningful and sustainable life rooted in those common values shared by all religious/humanist groups. It has also sensitized me to those things that put that way of life under threat. And we are living with that threat right now.
Practice Peace
Our culture is at a tipping point. We have spent decades trying on a distorted and narcissistic perspective that demeans our very image as a reflection of the Divine and diminishes our responsibility to one another, setting personal benefit as our bottom line: What's in it for me? What do I get out of it? How does this advance my agenda, irregardless of the cost to others? I heard these questions first voiced by a politician in a Presidential Debate in 1980 when he famously asked are you better off today than you were four years ago? The question invited everyone to look inward to their personal bottom line - and vote/act in the way that would benefit self above community. Now forty years later we have a presidential debate that had one participant acting like it was a remake of Mean Girls and the other forgetting the wise words of Pelagius: The enemy has overcome you when he makes you like himself.
Have Courage
So here we are, in the middle of a pandemic with adjoining economic crisis, climate/natural disasters, culture war, racial reckoning and presidential campaign. Any one of these would be challenge enough, but we've got them all - the Quintuple Quagmire. My abiding hope is that, given the severity of the challenge, those entrusted with or seeking leadership would remember that we need selfless servant leaders in the room - now - and rise to meet this moment while resisting the temptation to pivot to lowest common denominator expectations and behavior. Regrettably, I suspect that until we, as a nation, move away from what's in it for me to how can I help to make life better for all of us, we will keep choosing leaders who act out predictable re-runs of dated dramas and thus postpone the opportunity to find lasting solutions to serious systemic problems. Sigh.
Or...
Do Good
...in the words of Arleen Lorrance (1974), we can be the change you want to see happen.
I always thought Gandhi was the one who wrote that quote, but he did write something similar (with apologies for the dated language):
We but mirror the world. All the tendencies present in the outer world are to be found in the world of our body. If we could change ourselves, the tendencies in the world would also change. As a man changes his own nature, so does the attitude of the world change towards him. This is the divine mystery supreme. A wonderful thing it is and the source of our happiness.
We need not wait to see what others do.
Be Kind
I have been in ministry for thirty-seven years (twenty-seven years ordained), and I can safely say that the last six months have been the hardest of my vocational life. As one who is committed to a safe, just, meaningful and sustainable life for my congregation and surrounding community, the enormity of the task has left me exhausted. And frustrated. And angry. And worried. Since humans in our culture do not easily (or willingly) socially distance and cover their faces, keeping people safe and connected is an abiding challenge. Dealing with continuous (and unpredictable) change and the loss of social structures and rituals that mark everyday life and help us to cope with significant events destabilizes everything! Now more than ever we need wise leaders and...
Be the Light
...each of us must embody that wisdom ourselves - we need not wait to see what others do. Each and all of us - masks on and socially distant - can choose to embody choices that move us away from singing that shrill aria of me-me-me-me-me and move us instead to singing about us and the common good - and help to transform our world with love.
Work for Justice
Last night once the shaking stopped and the anger started, I so wanted to put a therapeutic lawn sign out in front of my house so I could give my country a piece of my mind! Before the debate was even over there were some great memes going around that could easily be turned into really cutting lawn signs (sorry - bad pun). But adding more fuel to that fire is only going to help to burn the house down - and enough with the fires, already! Instead, today I put lawn signs out that are consistent with my values and help me to be that change - now - and invite my neighbors to be their very best selves as they mirror the Divine and love our neighbor as ourselves. And so...
Encourage Others
Please, dear ones, be joyful! Be a Blessing! Be the change you want to see happen - Now - because we need not wait to see what others do!
Much love and hope,
Kim
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